I say this because at the London-shared-house, the Boys are always using the television for their various games - the Xbox, Playstation - or to watch Youtube, Netflix and movies. Not that I think there is anything wrong with that at all, I don't mind them doing those things most of the time, and have watched my fair share of movies and Netflix shows.
But there's something a bit different about sticking the telly on, and just letting whatever random programme is on take over the room. It means, I think, that you can start doing something different whilst the box plays its programme - giving comfort in it's sounds and flashes of light, while you settle with a book or look something up on the computer. At the same time, there is currently a lot of good TV on, which we always seem to miss because we never know it's there. I watched a fascinating documentary last night called Spying on the Royals, which was all about abdicated-King Edward and his wife Wallis, who were implied to be seriously anti-British during the Second World War.
So, yes, I think I need to find some way of making it clear to the Boys that sometimes, I'm going to be watching television. It's just a difficult conversation to have, especially when there's nothing particular I want to watch - I just like the comfort and the relaxation of the box.
Another good thing that has happened since I've been here was the long conversation I had with Ma last night - Smiley had gone out to a friends, so it was just the two of us chatting over large glasses of wine. We talked about everything from envying other people to where I should go with my life, and she gave me some really good advice.
I love having such a close relationship with Ma, and it's good to be able to have her give advice based on hindsight - the biggest thing, unsurprisingly, being that you can never truly plan for anything in life, because you never know where you're going to end up in a few months. Life can throw some ridiculous things at you that you never knew you'd have to deal with, leaving all your careful plans and schemes in the dust.
We also talked about choices, and she agreed that there are so many that can be made and you'll never know which one would have been the 'best' to make. It's almost like your life is made up of the things you're willing to sacrifice, to go down the other paths. What compromises are you willing to make? She mentioned that we're very alike, because of both being Sagittarius' - our arrow, she said, is always pointed off in another direction, looking for something to aim at. However, we're very well grounded with our 'horse' parts, loyal and willing to stick at something we have chosen to do.
It's crazy how well that sums me up.
Overall, I think that sometimes I wish that there were not so many choices to take - do I stay in this career until it's time to do a Masters? Do I get to relax after the Masters? Can I go travelling now? Before the Masters? After it? Will I even do the Masters? What about getting enough experience to make it in this career?
But again, Ma has a good, solid answer for this - I will end up choosing what is right for me, whilst compromising on what is best for Ry, because I love him. We will hopefully find the balance of supporting and respecting the individual things that each other does, whilst loving and enjoying the things we get to do together. That's how we'll stick. Plus, I might be worrying about all these things now, but it won't be as relevant in six months time. My choices and plans will have changed, I will have new goals.
Besides, she said, I can guarantee that taking a couple of months out will never affect your career.
I guess that's something I forget in our 'constant gratification' world - that time is relative.
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