Duvet Days

Outside it rains, pours down in sheets,

not unlike the ones we lie underneath.

Inside the boats, made up all of blue,

keeps Blockus players warm,

are toes hidden beneath leopard coloured spots.

The room is big enough

for all of us to laugh in,

air to breathe,

fourteen split into two;

not out of spite, just lacking

the will to move, worse that sloths

in these comfortable tangles.

Lethargy takes over us,

the picking of guitar strings

become a peaceful background bumble

like the air-con we never needed to have.

Once they all leave, though,

the human warmth has vanished.

No more humming, plucking tunes,

or glittering laughs and

crinkled summer eyes. No more

thoughts or hands at play.

The time for food is now,

so they have all gone away.

Gravity

It may seem as though

the time ticks by,

through the hourglass,

but the world rolls on,

no breath is still,

for doubts that might not come.

We see them as nothing,

these flurries of leaves,

from green to brown to dust -

Instead we shine like

those twin stars brought,

burning hot and strong,

chance and flairs of magic

to circle, flirt and dance.

Pleasantly and without question,

to you I found I hooked,

but theres no other way I’d

like to see our

credits roll and end.

Maybe I bite my fingers still,

the drama yet unfolds,

but we are safe and happy here -

I wouldn’t change it

for the world.

Too Much Sitting

Two posts in two days? Must be some kind of miracle, or maybe the fact that I decided not to go to any Uni activities today and instead just stayed in the living room and updated my CV. It looks almost identical to the one I had before, but maybe slightly neater. All the website ‘help’ said that I should be targeted my potential employer, but at the moment I can’t actually do that – I don’t have any work experience in any area I want to go into in the future.

Maybe I should just finish my books and get super famous.
No, actually, that sounds like the best plan right now.

Been listening to Radio 1 all day as well, and soon am going to go to La’s house and have dinner with her. We are actually best friends, I know not much has been said before on the subject of her, but she is probably the best friend that I have at Uni now, if we don’t include Ry. So I shall be going over there in about an hour, on my bike. It will be good to get out of the house, I’ve been sat down for way too long today.

I keep scolding myself for not doing more exercise this week, but actually, I’m doing a lot better than I used to. At least I’m jumping around my room occasionally, and I have worked 7-hour shifts twice this week, without it even being the weekend yet. If I can find a pound, I will be attending a Bodysoc Sesh tomorrow though, so hopefully that will make me feel a little less restless too.

But today has been, at least, productive. My CV is updated, I’ve found out that most of the Internships I want to apply for in the summer are either closing at the beginning of March, the last week of February, or haven’t even opened yet. I spoke to Nanny T and Dad on the phone, and bought a calendar, which I will put up on my wall soon. I may even go upstairs and write a letter, although I’m not sure who it would be to… All I need to do now to get my life in order is to write a cover letter (or maybe a few versions of the same one) and send them off to Internships. Either that, or maybe get Mother to have a look at them first, and see what she thinks.

Honestly, at the moment I can’t really tell what there is left for me to do. I mean, I could always do the Drama reading but I’ve chosen not to. I could say that I need to ‘see friends’ and ‘be more social’ but at the moment that’s not an issue, I’ve got La tonight, probably Ry tomorrow, work, and then seeing Jen on Sunday before going to an event. Bloom hasn’t replied to my text, and I’m fed up of reaching out to her, so I’m just going to wait and see if she ever decides she wants to see me. Not really that bothered either way, which is a good place to be.

Although maybe it shouldn’t be, seeing as I’m going to be living with her and 3 of her close friends next year, and I will once again be the outsider in my own house.
Again, not really bothered.

I think I need some more angst, I feel like I haven’t written any poems in ages. That, or I’ll just go read – managed to do that, read a book called Red Rising which was amazing. Time for another, to keep my mind at ease.

2015. HOW.

So, it’s been less of a gap between the last two times I’ve posted, but still 3 months. Not the best thing for me to be doing, probably, because a lot of the angst that’s been up in my head hasn’t had the chance to escape in the right way – in a constructive way, which I can then work through. But we’ll get to that in a moment. For now, a couple of updates.

Still with Ry.
Still working in Costa.
Still not sure how I feel about my uni course.
Still not writing.
Still content.

Also, I should probably share my New Year’s Resolutions seeing as it’s now February in 2015. I didn’t believe making it to this year was possible; when I was a kid, I didn’t even believe I’d make it to being 20 years old. Wow. So, my 2015 NYRs are to:

• Write more letters.
• Skype & keep in touch with old friends.
• Get a summer internship.
• Stop comparing myself to other people.
• WRITE (ahah this one)
• Stay healthy.
• Work harder for my degree.
• Read more books.
• Express gratitude & enjoy life.
• Try and be more selfless.
• One Random Act Of Kindness every day.
• Sleep for 7-8 hours a night.
• Write on here. (oops)
• Be sociable.
• Take more photos.
• Join in with Societies.
• Take pride in my appearance.
• Embrace Wicca.
So, I’ve managed to do some of them (somewhat) and completely forget others. Some of them I think should definitely be thought about more, and I need to express more gratitude to Ry, certainly. It’s not that we’ve been on the rocks at all – coming up to a year, WHAT – but we do bicker a lot. I don’t know if that’s my fault, or his. Or whether it has anything to do with the fact that we basically see each other every day, and sleep at each other’s houses every night. Maybe I need to make more effort in my relationship, as well as with my friendships.
I’m glad I wrote up those NYRs though, because I had forgotten some. But for now, it’s time for work.