Bitchy Thoughts

Well I just stalked the Girl (who stole the Boy – I say stole, but I don’t think it was really her fault. He chose her more than she chose him. Long story, I’ll explain after the rant) and I was appalled by my own bitchy thoughts, but couldn’t help thinking them. Such as: why the hell does everything on her Facebook profile get so many likes? She’s not even that pretty!

But as Hager rightly pointed out, it’s not all about looks and by now I should know that. God, I reckon I’m just an extremely shallow person and I haven’t really realised it yet. But how can that be so? I don’t think I’m attractive, I never wear make up or slutty clothes, and honestly I dislike my appearance – body, face, weight, all of it – so where could this shallowness come from?

Perhaps it’s just jealousy. Problem is, I don’t want to be jealous. I can’t help it though, it just is so frustrating that she got something that I was so desperately happy with – if we’d been friends I wouldn’t have minded, because I’d rather my friend be happy than myself, but for some reason when it’s a random Girl that I barely know it somehow becomes an issue. And this isn’t the first time it’s happened. It happened with Brit-German when he got with LB but I guess what I knew there was that eventually it would end because he didn’t want anything serious. NOW… well, now I just don’t know. The Boy told me that there wasn’t another girl, there was nothing like that when he ended things, but by the end of the year he’d hooked up with the Girl and they were hanging out all the time.

What if they get into some kind of relationship? A devious part of me hopes that she tries to put something like a relationship on him and that he runs away, because that’s what he’s done before. But I shouldn’t think stuff like that! She’s such a nice person, she likes him so much (god, it’s obvious to the whole fucking world, SICKENING) and if he runs away she’s going to be absolutely devastated. At least I can handle it, seeing as devastation and boys running away when I fall for them seems to be the only thing that happens to me.

But I’ve gone on a tangent. My original thoughts were why every single photo, every single comment, everything on her facebook page gets at least 5 votes. Does she just have a lot of friends who don’t have anything better to do with their time? Or is she genuinely just an amazingly sweet person and I’m being a complete and utter bitch? It’s probably the latter.

It’s time to face the fact that I have a serious popularity complex.