This time, I think it’s of the heart. I need a heart revolution, I need to boycott love and start a resistance against it so that my mind and these Feels I have are in harmony. Maybe then the gentle twang of Oh god why will cease to exist. Which is why I bring this song to your attention:
Great song, by a great band that Cooper showed me quite a long time ago. I think they’re on the way to becoming my possible new favourites.
Moving on; what was I going to say? I figure I should do a bit of updating seeing as I haven’t written a post in about 10 days. First off then:
I am EIGHTEEN, bitches. EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. LEGAL.
Yet all the things I thought I would have done by this point in my life I still have not achieved – I dunno, the idea of being 18 seems more appealing than actually being this age. There isn’t really much change and so far I haven’t done a lot with my new-found freedom. My birthday was fairly quiet, and although I did have a legendary time at the Harry Potter film museum thing down in London, I haven’t been out like you would expect a newborn 18 year old to do. I guess it’s because it’s the holidays and the only people I would really celebrate with are those at AC. So we’ll see. January, perhaps.
Speaking of January – I’ve decided (right this very second) that 2013 is going to be my year. It seems like a little bit of an awkward year – and according to the Mayans, we’re not even going to reach it – but perhaps that’s what I need. Something that I wouldn’t expect to go right, a year that seems a little wonky, just to straighten everything out. I found the word: Serendipity. It’s what I need and I’m never going to find it by looking for it, which I realised this term, so I’m just going to stop. Let go of the strings, stop trying to control everything, and just let things happen the way they’re going to. I’ve got too much to do to worry about where life is going to take me.
I’m eighteen, I’ve got six months left at the most fabulous place on earth, surrounded by wonderful friends that I’ll never forget. Why would I want to ruin that by being hung up on anyone, or fretting about something that doesn’t even matter. Its time to do things forme. This is the most transitional couple of years I’ve ever had in my entire life, and I better enjoy it before it slips through my fingers. I’m never going to get this time back and it’s time I realised that. So.
Get off the sofa. Stop sitting around in a dressing gown. Have a shower. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Health, happiness, friends, family, laughter. Lack of hair. It’s all I need.
But before I jump to my feet and become productive (for I have a lot of things to do today), perhaps a life update.
I only need some key words in order to remember everything – Sober Friday, trying to do Sosh (failed), Topless Gwosh on Saturday. Christmas Party, date was Raina, got a little bit trashed but it was an insane evening and very much enjoyed it. Topless Gwosh Round 2, and then a chilled Sunday. Monday = Drunken StuC0 (funniest thing in my life). Tuesday = Gay bonding, looking after the drunken peoples and then staying up till 1:30am with the boys. That was a lot of fun. ‘Oh, Canada’ would not stop talking and that was why it was so amusing. But also, it’s nice to be… accepted? Is that the word I’m looking for? I don’t know. I prefer hanging out with guys, they’re so much more interesting and there isn’t any bitching. Although guys do bitch, but hell it’s funny. I just find it curious because they talk about girls a lot, and I wonder if they ever talk about me. If so, what do they say? Or maybe they just don’t talk about me because they don’t see me as anything. Either way, it’s time not to care. Wednesday = Birthday ‘celebrations’. Not much done, except was Duty Dorm – that didn’t work. And then got a tad emotional which probably wasn’t the best idea but it wasn’t like I could help it. And Hager (aka the Hagermiester) showered me. That was random, but appreciated. Thursday = Birthday’s eve, chilled and watched the Grinch.
And then. Home on Friday the 14th of December, also known as my birthday.
I only need some key words in order to remember everything – Sober Friday, trying to do Sosh (failed), Topless Gwosh on Saturday. Christmas Party, date was Raina, got a little bit trashed but it was an insane evening and very much enjoyed it. Topless Gwosh Round 2, and then a chilled Sunday. Monday = Drunken StuC0 (funniest thing in my life). Tuesday = Gay bonding, looking after the drunken peoples and then staying up till 1:30am with the boys. That was a lot of fun. ‘Oh, Canada’ would not stop talking and that was why it was so amusing. But also, it’s nice to be… accepted? Is that the word I’m looking for? I don’t know. I prefer hanging out with guys, they’re so much more interesting and there isn’t any bitching. Although guys do bitch, but hell it’s funny. I just find it curious because they talk about girls a lot, and I wonder if they ever talk about me. If so, what do they say? Or maybe they just don’t talk about me because they don’t see me as anything. Either way, it’s time not to care. Wednesday = Birthday ‘celebrations’. Not much done, except was Duty Dorm – that didn’t work. And then got a tad emotional which probably wasn’t the best idea but it wasn’t like I could help it. And Hager (aka the Hagermiester) showered me. That was random, but appreciated. Thursday = Birthday’s eve, chilled and watched the Grinch.
And then. Home on Friday the 14th of December, also known as my birthday.
Otherwise, there isn’t much to tell. I keep writing poetry, I don’t know why. But this Christmas I really do want to continue Recto Verso, I feel like I’ve left Luke and Abby behind and their story needs to be told. Got a lot of notebooks (wooooo0) so life is going to be organised. Life is good, life is nice. The sun is shining, I’m at home, and there isn’t anything I need to worry about. Time to let go of the Feels, time to let go of the heartache and the worrying. Stop looking, stop thinking. Concentrate on what is really important.
I raise my flags, don my clothes. It’s a revolution, I suppose.
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